In-person in Carmel and online across california
Therapy for Relationships
Helping you stop managing other people’s emotions so you can start honoring your own- weather it’s with a partner, a parent, or someone else you love.
Does it feel like you’re always the one keeping the peace?
You’re constantly managing how others feel, careful not to disappoint, quick to smooth things over, afraid of what might happen if someone’s upset with you. Especially when that someone is a parent, a partner, or someone you love.
You’ve spent so much of your life tuned into other people, reading their moods, anticipating their reactions, doing what you can to keep things calm.
It’s not just about being thoughtful. It’s how you’ve learned to feel safe: by trying to manage the emotional temperature around you.
But when it comes to your own needs? That’s where things get fuzzy. You’re so used to looking outward that turning inward, asking what do I feel, what do I need, feels unfamiliar, maybe even unsafe.
Whether it's with romantic partners, parents, siblings, or friends , the patterns often start in the same place: what you learned about love and belonging growing up.
So you protect yourself in ways you may not realize…
You pull away first, even when you're desperate for connection, because distance feels safer than disappointment.
You take on more than your share to keep the relationship "okay."
You swallow your needs to avoid conflict.
Your decisions are still filtered through "will this upset mom/dad?", as if their emotions are yours to manage.
You merge so completely with others that being alone feels like drowning, needing them to be okay so you can be okay.
You test the relationship, just to see if they'll stay.
Or you keep things surface-level, choosing partners who feel "safe" because they're emotionally unavailable.
When therapy starts to help you build healthier relationships
Your focus will start to shift inward.
You start to pay more attention to your own experience. What you’re feeling, what you’re needing, what feels okay or not okay to you. You learn where you end and the other person begins. What’s yours to carry, and what’s not.
Instead of trying to manage someone else’s emotions, you begin to notice your own. You start letting yourself need things, and ask for them.
As you learn more about yourself, your relationships begin to reflect that. You get clearer on what you want, and what you don’t. You recognize what helps you feel safe and respected. Boundaries that once felt like a risk will feel like relief.
You stop needing someone else to prove you’re worthy. You’ll already know.
How we’ll get there, together:
In our work together, we’ll look closely at how your early relationships shaped the way you move through the world now
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We’ll explore how love and safety were defined in your family. You’ll start to recognize how those early dynamics still influence your current relationships,and why certain situations feel so charged.
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We’ll uncover the roles you took on to stay connected or keep the peace. Then, we’ll explore ways to step out of those roles, so you can respond from your values, not your past.
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By tuning into your nervous system, you’ll begin to recognize what feels safe, what feels threatening, and how you can better care for yourself in those moments.
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We’ll invite compassion for the younger parts of you that still long for someone else to meet needs that were never fully met, and help you become a steady, loving presence for those parts instead.
The shifts you’ll start to feel in yourself and your relationships
Recognize the patterns that leave you feeling small, anxious, or unseen.
Set boundaries that feel steady, not scary.
Understand how your past shaped your present (so it doesn’t define your future).
Honor your needs without betraying yourself to keep the peace.
Offer compassion to the younger parts of you that once felt unlovable.
Build relationships rooted in balance, honesty, and mutual care.
Your story is welcome here.
You’ve spent so long reaching outward for love, only to discover it’s been inside you all along.
Questions?
FAQs
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Nope! This is individual work focused on your patterns, needs, and inner world. But the changes you make inside of yourself will impact all of your relationships, often in powerful ways.
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That’s one of the hardest parts. Wanting others to give you what they can’t. In therapy, we focus on helping you meet your own needs, so your relationships can feel less desperate or one-sided. As you change, your relationships often change too, but the shift starts with you.
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That depends on your goals and history. Some clients notice small shifts after a few sessions, like more clarity or less reactivity. Deeper changes, like building self-trust or changing long-held relational patterns, take more time. We’ll move at a pace that feels sustainable for you.